This holiday season, we'd like to extend warm wishes of peace, comfort and hope to our dear readers. Cherish the special memories of your loved ones, especially during this time. Here are some of mine from years past.
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The Healing Power of Tears after a Suicide Loss
I hear it all too often when speaking to survivors of a suicide loss. "I was doing so well" they will say, "and then I had a day where I couldn't help but cry." I am not sure why we think tears are a sign of weakness. Tears are similar to laughter; they are a way to express an emotion. A way to communicate that we have been deeply touched by a sound, smell, image or memory. They remind us that we are human. Crying does not mean that we ...
How to Maintain a Relationship with the Deceased
In Monday's post, I talked about the importance of continuing your relationship with the person you lost to suicide. In the mental health field, this is referred to as continuing bonds. Essentially the idea of continuing bonds challenges the notion that we need to "let go" of the person we lost. As a grief therapist and survivor, I know this notion is simply not realistic. Take me for an example. I lost my dad, a man I knew from the day I ...
You don’t have to say, “Goodbye”-Life after Suicide
We often believe that our relationship with our loved one ends the day they take their life. It doesn't end, it changes. This perception often complicates an already complicated grief process. We think that moving forward means getting over the person and the relationship that we lost to suicide that day. When we can't let go, we think we are stuck. Changing our perception can offer tremendous relief. It isn't about letting go; it's about ...
How Do You Describe A Survivor of Suicide?
What words comes to mind when you hear the phrase “survivor of suicide?” Until recently, I hadn’t given this question much thought. Even as I write this, I don’t know how I’d answer it. Yet, twice in the last month, someone has called me “brave” after I’ve shared my loss story and that honestly surprises me.
I’m an open-book person by nature. It’s a trait I inherited from my father. When something’s on my mind, it feels only right to talk ...
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