Offering hope, comfort and support for survivors of suicide loss.
In some cases, death by suicide is preceded by a battle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, addiction or other forms of mental illness. These conditions do not always lead to suicide and not everyone who dies by suicide has one (or more) of them. But, many readers and I have experience living with a loved one who has – and we don’t often talk about how that can affect us. There’s also no clear direction on how we’re supposed to handle ...
We are all familiar with the pain that accompanies a loss by suicide. What we often do not talk about are the other relationships that are challenged or even broken after a suicide occurs. Secondary loss, as they are often referred to, are the losses that occur in addition to the person lost on that tragic day. We expect the people we trust the most to be our strength in the aftermath of such tragedy. When they do not give us what we need, ...
Since losing my dad to suicide, the winter holidays seem to exacerbate my feelings of anxiety. His absence and the dramatic way his death impacted our family traditions becomes painfully clear this time of year. Coupled with this are coincidentally-timed stressful events that only fan the flames of my worries. (For instance, in December 2014, I panicked about returning to work post maternity-leave and felt a bit of déjà vu again this year.) At ...
In Monday's post, I talked about the importance of continuing your relationship with the person you lost to suicide. In the mental health field, this is referred to as continuing bonds. Essentially the idea of continuing bonds challenges the notion that we need to "let go" of the person we lost. As a grief therapist and survivor, I know this notion is simply not realistic. Take me for an example. I lost my dad, a man I knew from the day I ...
Last month, the local Rotary Club hosted a golf outing in my dad’s name and memory to raise funds for a scholarship to benefit area students. We were touched they chose to honor him in this way, especially four years after his death. It’s easy to feel like most people have forgotten about him by now.
I attended the dinner reception after the outing and braced myself to see several of my dad’s colleagues, friends and golf buddies. As the ...
