Offering hope, comfort and support for survivors of suicide loss.
How often are you asked, "How are you?" What is your reply? Do you tell people how you really are? Or do you quickly answer, "I'm okay." After losing my dad to suicide, I found myself telling others that I was okay, even though the truth was I was no where near okay. It worked for me for awhile. I wasn't ready to talk about his death, and truly I didn't even know what to say. Problem with saying "I'm okay" is people start making the assumption ...
On our grief journey, we spend a great deal of time alone. Life moves on, people move on, at a more rapid pace than we do. Often, the world moves on when we are finally ready to talk about the events that have recently occurred. We become bitter at the people around us. How can you be so happy when you know I am so miserable? The sunshine doesn't feel so warm and comforting, the little things don't seem to give us the same joy that they did ...
Our past helps us understand the reality of the present. In the past, we may see the signs, or notice behaviors that were out of the ordinary for the person we lost. The past should be used as a tool; a tool to better understand the pain hidden beneath the surface of the person who died by suicide. The past helps us put meaning to our tragedy. It builds a narrative, and fills in the blanks. It is a useful tool. But that is all it is; a tool. ...
In the aftermath of a suicide loss, the first thing you want to do is run. The pain is intense, often times feeling unbearable. I think we have to run for a little while. Our bodies and minds need time to process the traumatic event that just occurred. It is healthy to want to avoid the pain. It becomes unhealthy when one goes to extremes to try and avoid the pain. That's the thing about running. The pain will always be right behind you, ...
"Just hold on." I love this phrase. It is somewhat perfect after experiencing a loss by suicide. In the early days, it seems nearly impossible to have anything that resembles a wonderful day. The pain is on the surface; it is strong, overpowering, and consuming. People will offer words of encouragement such as, "this too will pass" or "give it time." While they mean well, phrases such as these almost feel insulting in the aftermath of a ...
