Offering hope, comfort and support for survivors of suicide loss.
We often believe that our relationship with our loved one ends the day they take their life. It doesn't end, it changes. This perception often complicates an already complicated grief process. We think that moving forward means getting over the person and the relationship that we lost to suicide that day. When we can't let go, we think we are stuck. Changing our perception can offer tremendous relief. It isn't about letting go; it's about ...
As a survivor of a tragic loss, you will never forget the moment that you found out (or for some of us found) that your loved one had left this Earth. It is burned into our memory, leaving a scar on our heart. What we rarely discuss is the pain associated with the what would have or should have been. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we had already created future memories with the person we lost. We never thought that they would not be ...
Not only acknowledging, but accepting that our life will never be the same as it was before our loved one took their life is not an easy part of the grief journey. We try desperately to hold on to the life we had before. The problem with this, is that it keeps us in the past. Trying to go back is like an adult attempting to live like they did during their adolescence. It just isn't possible. Too much has happened. Life has changed; we have ...
When I am asked, "When will the pain end" I simply answer, "It won't." In order to no longer feel pain, the person you lost would have to be erased from your memory. It is not possible to no longer feel the sadness left behind after tragic loss. I do not tell people that the pain doesn't go away, to make them feel hopeless. Instead, I tell them in an effort to help them set realistic expectations for themselves. When one experiences a "grief ...
There comes a point in our grief journey when the pain all of a sudden feels real. Maybe it is the denial lifting, the distractions ending, or our heart finally catching up to our brain. We wake up asking ourselves, "When will this pain end?" Nobody likes pain. If we have a headache, we take an Advil. When a bone breaks, it is casted in order to heal, and we are given something to ease the pain. Pain is not something we are comfortable. ...
