During the mourning process after a suicide loss we often talk about finding forgiveness.  Forgiving the person that we lost for leaving us.  Forgiving them for not being able to see the world through our eyes.  Forgiving them for not asking for help.  What I have found is that this forgiveness often comes with relative ease.  Sure, we still have anger but we have forgiven them for what they have done.  The type of forgiveness that often takes ...

We all remember that moment in time when we either were told, or found that our loved one had died by suicide.  For me, it was a call in the middle of the night.  Without even answering the call, I knew that it was about my dad.  Your gut is strange; it often knows things that your mind and heart aren't yet ready to acknowledge or accept.  In the days following my loss, it's as if the world stood still.  There was much to be done; decisions to ...

When someone dies unexpectedly, we do not have the ability to process what this death means.  We do not have time to plan, and we do not have time to think about a future without the person that we lost.  In a minute, often a violent minute, this person is taken away from us.  Every thought about the future now becomes a blur; nothing makes sense.  This is one aspect of suicide grief that is difficult for others to understand if they have not ...

Thinking about pain as an ally seems almost impossible after a loss by suicide.  Pain is one of the things you most fear; it is something you don't embrace, or welcome with open arms.  Yet, pain can be your best teacher.  In the aftermath of my own father's suicide I remember thinking and feeling that life as I knew it had changed.  For quite sometime I fought this notion, and hated that my life had changed without me wanting it to.  My heart was ...

From an outside perspective, it can look like we are giving up after a loss by suicide.  The tears keep falling, phone calls go unanswered, plans get cancelled.  Are we giving up the fight?  No.  We are learning how to live again.  In essence, we are starting over.  Suicide changes everything you know to be true about the world.  Recently, I spoke about what constitutes a traumatic loss, and how the grief process differs from that of a natural ...