Offering hope, comfort and support for survivors of suicide loss.
As a survivor, I think it can be hard to not allow your loved ones' final act to trump the life that they lived. For it is that last act that caused us the pain that we feel in the present. Combine that with the stigma and shame of suicide and suddenly the memories that occurred before their death become a distant memory. I love talking about my dad. It reminds me of the time we had prior to his death. It reminds me of who I am, and where I ...
When I lost my dad to suicide I spent a great deal of time running from the pain of suicide. The interesting thing about my pain was that it took time to actually hit. I always refer to this time as "the distracted period." We often think we are doing pretty well. Then something happens. The bottom falls out, the ground we are standing on no longer seems sturdy. The pain becomes intense and feels overwhelming. We don't want to feel it. ...
I have written a few posts on why grief following a suicide is so hard. It is that lack of closure that makes it difficult to move forward. We ask the same questions over and over..."Could I have prevented this?" "Why didn't I see the signs?" "How could they have left me like this?" It's like a record playing over and over in your head. It makes it difficult if not impossible to look forward when you are mentally stuck in the past. I ...
The lack of understanding after a loss by suicide often leaves survivors feeling alone in their pain. I remember people comparing the loss of my father to losses they experienced, all of which occurred naturally. Initially, I took them in stride but over time I began to resent them for thinking they understood the depth of my pain. I spent time and energy trying to make them understand, and when I was unable to do so, I began to isolate. I ...
As a survivor of a suicide loss and grief therapist, I have found that majority of survivors feel like the ground below them gives out 3-4 months after experiencing a tragedy by suicide. Not only does the reality and finality of the situation begin to set in, but the distractions start to end. The people who were once there for us begin to move on, often making us feel like they no longer care about the tragedy we have faced. People stop ...
