Last month, the local Rotary Club hosted a golf outing in my dad’s name and memory to raise funds for a scholarship to benefit area students. We were touched they chose to honor him in this way, especially four years after his death. It’s easy to feel like most people have forgotten about him by now.
I attended the dinner reception after the outing and braced myself to see several of my dad’s colleagues, friends and golf buddies. As the ...
Talking to a Child about Suicide
A few weeks back, my sister and her husband had to have a conversation with their daughter that no parent wants to have. The day had come; it was time to tell their oldest daughter how Grandpa really died. With the advent of social media, it has become increasingly difficult to keep information away from our children. While we dread having to tell our children something that might bring them pain, it is better for them to hear it from us, than ...
Feeling Insulted with Comments About Suicide
Despite being such a strong voice in support of those who have lost a loved one to suicide, I found myself silenced in disbelief recently when someone I am very close to made an insulting comment on the topic. To this, day, I am mentally kicking myself for not speaking up, but I was so appalled and confused, I didn’t know what to do in the moment.
It was late at night, with several people sitting around gabbing. I believe the topic shifted to ...
Fretting Over the Last Conversations Before Suicide
In the wake of losing a loved one to suicide, it’s common to pour over every detail of their final days, including last conversations. Filled with guilt, survivors may wonder if things that were said – or maybe not said – could have made a difference. I think that because suicide is so shocking and lacks closure, we reach for something – or someone – to blame.
I remember in the weeks leading up to my dad’s death, I could tell he wasn’t feeling ...
What not to Say after a Loss by Suicide
The article, "How to help: 4 things to say to bereaved parents... and one thing NEVER to say, first appeared on The Today Show in early July. As soon as they began talking about bereavement, my eyes and ears were glued to the television. As they read through the list of things "not to say" to bereaved parents, I felt as if they were validating everything I felt in the months following my dad's suicide. There is something about a loss by ...
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