Offering hope, comfort and support for survivors of suicide loss.
Tom died the Monday before spring break in 2015. He attended the same school where I worked. I took the week off, of course, to mourn and make arrangements. But the Friday before break, I was granted permission to attend my Theatre Arts class. It was safe with my husband, the principal, and a counselor present along with my students. We did our usual entry activity and then talked about the play they were watching in my absence. It was an hour of ...
I have written and asked over and over again, “Why was my love not enough to save my son, Tom?” And today the answer hit me. My love was not enough because mental illness is not about love. It is about biology. I am reminded of Amy Bleuel’s words, “It is a brain illness…” It is a physical illness which overtakes our bodies. Love is not enough to treat a broken bone or cancer or chronic pain or any other number of medical challenges we face. It is ...
Five years ago today, late in the afternoon, we received the call which shattered our lives. Our son, Tom, killed himself. My memories of that day are incomplete due to trauma. I do remember snapshots and short videos of the horror of the day which still have a hold on me although, through counseling, no longer suffocate me. Within hours, our family made the decision to be transparent about the cause of his death without realizing the ...
There are many things I remember about the day my son, Tom, died.
I remember the last thing I said to him and his reply. I have the last text he sent me about the books he ordered for his next quarter at college and the last text I sent to him when he was not home when expected.
I remember calling his dad and asking if he knew where Tom was because he wasn’t home yet. I remember his return call telling me Tom was dead and me arguing with ...
We have many pictures of Tom from his younger days. He often wore a huge smile complete with a gap between his two front teeth. You could see his love of life on his face. I look at those pictures now and long to hold that carefree child again.
As Tom matured, he did not like having his picture taken. He would sit for his annual school picture because the district required it for its records, and because I asked him to so I would have pictures ...
