Reconstructing our family after a loss by suicide can feel like an impossible task when you yourself are trying to establish the meaning of such a tragic death. Here in Chicago we are blessed to have The LOSS Program, for survivors of a suicide loss. Cynthia Waderlow, LCSW, is the child therapist for the program, and she recently wrote the following article for the January Obelisk newsletter. As it offers great advice for those trying ...
Moving Beyond “Why?”
The infamous question we as survivors of a suicide loss ask ourselves, "why?" "Why would they do this?" "Why would this happen?" "Why didn't anyone prevent it from happening?" I could write an entire book on the "why" questions that I have asked since losing my dad to suicide. Problem with "why" is that there aren't any concrete answers. There is no magical equation that will give us a definitive answer. The one and only answer lies with the one ...
Sitting with our Pain
This week we welcome guest blogger Kim Demirjian, who lost her grandfather to suicide nearly 7 months ago. Kim beautifully describes the pain that we are faced with in the aftermath of a suicide loss. We speak often about "sitting with the pain" on our blog; Kim is doing just that. From an outsider's view, one might think that we need to "get over" the pain. It's not about getting over it, it is about getting comfortable with it. Does the pain ...
Turning Guilt Into Gratitude
I'm not big on resolutions, because let's be honest who actually remembers what theirs was last year? I've learned that if you want to actually make big changes, you have to set specific and attainable goals for yourself. I've heard people say, "My goal is to just be happy." Well that is great but how in the heck are you going to measure that? And is your definition of happiness even attainable? I am not sure I could provide you with a definition ...
How a Suicide Introduced me to my Authentic Self
I never thought it would take a suicide to introduce me to my authentic self. I speak often about finding purpose in our pain. I get a number of questions following that statement, "Well how in the heck do I do that?" If I knew the exact way believe me, I would share. What I have come to find on the journey that began the day my father died by suicide, is that purpose comes from authenticity. In the midst of the pain, I was introduced to my ...
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