Like so many people, we were deeply saddened by the unexpected passing of designer and household name, Kate Spade, to suicide. Survivor Kimberly Starr pens a reflection on the impact of new and high profile suicides on those of us navigating the “everyday survivor” grief journey.
Celebrity Suicides and the Need for Consistent Attention on Mental Health
Kate Spade. Robin Williams. Chester Bennington. Chris Cornell.
All famous individuals who died by suicide in recent memory.
After each of these deaths, the public mourned their passing together while bemoaning our country’s need to better understand mental illness, improve access to mental heath services, and decrease the stigma around both mental illness and suicide. However, it takes little time for another catastrophe or scandal to move into the news cycle and the conversation about these necessities fades until the next public and painful loss.
The impact of high profile suicides may seem wider than those of my son, his classmate, or other suffering individuals in your own community, but the conversation still fades. We believe we know these stars through their cultivated personas presented online, in magazines, and by the media. But when we see those we almost worship die by suicide, it seemingly hits closer to us than losses from within our own community. Yet, we do not truly know those individuals, as many hide their own struggles because of the attached stigma, and the sadness and shock begins to evolve.
The Tangible Impact of Suicide Loss
When our little rural town lost two teenagers in seven months to their mental illnesses, we came together. Education around the topic was increased in our high school along with additional access for students to counseling. The loss of my son, along with my transparency around it, allowed us as a community to talk about mental illness and suicide. Whether I am at work, the grocery store, or the doctor’s office, people know my story and feel as though they can talk to me about my son’s or their own struggle. I am the face of suicide survivorship. It is not a role I expected, but it is a role for which I am grateful, because by talking about it, I am making a difference.
Unfortunately, until we see mental illness and suicide as something tangible, something that touches us in our homes, next door or in our local community, we will only come back to the conversation when it hits the national news.
Suicide prevention cannot be episodic, occasional, or impersonal; it needs to be ongoing, strategic, and relatable.
This is why our brave but worthwhile “work” as everyday survivors carrying this message in our circles and communities is so important.
After three years of watching my husband battle his depression, I became a survivor of suicide loss almost four weeks ago. We talked openly about his depression both while he was alive, and in his obituary, at his funeral, etc. We didn’t hide the cause of death. The number of people who came forward to thank us and share their stories about depression and suicide was astonishing. Some of these people I’d known for years. I can’t bring my husband back, but I can try to make a difference for others by being forthright. Thank you for writing this article.
I appreciate very much this article but I also think it should be understood that sometimes (perhaps often?), the death of a celebrity will trigger the same response in someone who is already on the verge or perhaps adds to their impulsive act at the last minute. My daughter struggled most of her life with mental illness. When Chester Bennington died, my daughter committed suicide that night.
YES, it seems unfair that celebrities committing suicide receive so much attention. But if it helps the average person getting help than it is good. My son died by suicide almost 2 yrs. ago. He had attempted it 5 years prior. His main issues was chronic depression along with TBI and not totally diagnosed but was on meds and getting therapy……..I want to get more involved in suicide prevention and helping survivors
I am glad we’re talking about it again, although thinking about what the families are now going through is very extremely painful. I am also a survivor from attempts, and my son killed himself last year. Personally, I wish the press would back off from details and showing bodies being removed from their homes or hotel rooms. It’s almost as if they glorify it, that disgusts me, and yes triggers memories. I am so sorry for all of us living this nightmare. ((((HUGS))))