I was recently talking with a couple girlfriends about the journey we call life. They were discussing friendships that have ended over the years, and the sadness they had over not being able to maintain them. 
I couldn’t help but think about the relationships that dissolved after I lost my dad to suicide. The aftershock of a suicide loss is strong. Not only do you lose the person you loved dearly, but you often lose the life you once knew. With that comes the loss of friendships and relationships. This can add to your pain as you struggle to see nothing but loss in your life. I have been there, and here is what I have learned since. The people I lost weren’t meant to be there forever. They were only meant to be there for a season. They were part of my journey, and I am thankful for that. Shifting my focus offered me a sense of satisfaction and joy that was missing for a long time. I learned to no longer resent those who left, but be thankful for their presence in my journey.
so well said, i too have lost many friends and relationships after steve’s suicide. on the plus side, i found out who my true friends were and other kind, thoughtful people have come into my life.
This is special to me in many ways. Today, it’s because I slept in a new apartment for the 1st time. I seperated and left my husband. Left him in my home and the place my daughter left her body. It took me a year and a half to accept that I am beyond a different person and I will give everything up in order to BE.
I wish all survivors could have this thought process. It would save them so much agony. I have survived suicide 5 times now. All immediate family (my mom and 4 siblings) with the latest being my brother 19 days ago. My sister-in-law is beside herself with grief and “doesn’t know how she will go on”. I have tried to express your words to her in other verbiage. She doesn’t think she will ever get there…that it isn’t possible.
Having survived this so many times, I do know from experience that she will. But I also understand how she is feeling right now. I went through the same thing over and over and over again. I grieve just as much as she, but my experience has taught me amazing coping skills to get through the early days and to focus on the good of the life I had with my family as opposed to a dark future ahead. Nobody knows what lies ahead. But we all have control over making it the best it can be.
I know there aren’t many comforting words I can give her right now. The wounds are still too fresh. But I say these things anyway in the hopes that she may remember them later and be able to fully grasp their blessed meaning.
Thank you for your writing. You hit the nail on the head.
Dawn,
I’m so sorry for the tremendous loss you’ve experienced, But I am so thankful for your tremendously positive attitude. Stay positive, my friend. May God bless you.. Keely
I lost my son 2years ago to suicide. I love the way you said they were only Kent for a session, thank you!!!
Your perspective of your experience leaves me feeling inspired for you. Everything in life is not permanent, nor is it supposed to be. We all look for something constant in our lives as an anchor of sorts, but acknowledging change and accepting it even though it hurts more than we ever imagined…that acceptance is priceless and invaluable. I lost my son by suicide, and the ache I feel is beyond any hurt I ever knew, and yet I am aware that his existence in my life brought unimaginable love and an experience of life that nothing else ever could.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your insight.
This article made me think how I’ve never viewed my relationship with my sister as meant for a season. I always viewed us as growing old together through all the joy and sadness we always had each other and always would. We always said we were “ALWAYS” there for each other, unconditionally. It was what made us different, or so I thought.
It will take a conscious effort as just getting through each day for me requires a conscious effort, but maybe the words I keep repeating in my head need to change. Maybe viewing life as it was never meant to be always but rather for it’s own season will help. Thank you for this.