How often are you asked, “How are you?” What is your reply? Do you tell people how you really are? Or do you quickly answer, “I’m okay.” After losing my dad to suicide, I found myself telling others that I was okay, even though the truth was I was no where near okay. It worked for me for awhile. I wasn’t ready to talk about his death, and truly I didn’t even know what to say. Problem with saying “I’m okay” is people start making the assumption that you really are okay. Then they stop asking. By the time you are ready to talk about it, it seems like nobody is asking anymore. For me, this led to a great deal of resentment towards those around me. When I look back I now see that they stopped asking, because they assumed I really was doing well. I am not saying that everyone deserves to hear your story. For some people it really is better to just say, “I’m okay.” Learn from my mistakes. Tell the people you love how you really feel. Ask for what you need. You don’t have to have it all together.
Connoll says
That is always a difficult one to deal with after a suicide bereavement.I often wondered in my own case was the person asking the question sincere.And my answer ‘I am o.k.’ was definitely not sincere and of I answered’ I’m not o.k.’ well that just caused extra problems in dealing with people both at work and in my private life.So I began to answer ‘I am coping’ or ‘Thank you I am coping well’And this for me was a more sincere and truthful response.It actually made me feel better.Even saying ‘I’m not coping so good right now’ was also a truthful response.Well I began to answer in this mode so much that then, yes the sincere questions came from the people I know well : ‘How are you coping ? ‘ And that made it easier fot me to respond in a sincere manner and also helped me to cope with the breavement process.