Finding meaning after losing a loved one to suicide is no easy task. Why did this happen to me? How can I even begin to move forward? These are just a few of the questions I asked myself after losing my dad to suicide. I didn’t want to write another post on how I found my peace, and began to move forward. So, I reached out to our online community to see what they had to say. Below are just a few of the comments we received. I wanted to share these stories with our readers in an effort to offer hope to those who still feel broken or lost. The pain DOES become less intense. You WILL begin to see the beauty in life again. Just give yourself a little time.
“When my 15 year old Grandson died by suicide it woke our family up to how precious we all are to each other, we all moved back to our hometown and live close to each other. Every day is a difficult journey after four years but we are all close to help each other through the grief.” -Deborah
“My brothers death three years ago changed my life. It sounds crazy, but today I’m a happier, healthier version of myself. I had to redefine my life and beliefs much more than I ever imagined after he died and I’m grateful for it. Everyday I still miss his face and his voice, but I am so grateful I had him for the 39 years I did and even for the experience of this loss. Gratitude has been the key to getting me through my grief journey.” -Andrea
“When I lost my dad to suicide in May, 2015, I was in a fog for months. I honestly believe it was the prayers of others that kept me going day by day, because I know there were a lot of people praying for us daily. As the fog lifted and reality started to sink in, I prayed God would give me something…anything…positive out of this nightmare so that his death wouldn’t be in vain. He answered my prayers beyond what I could’ve imagined. I’m now an active part of a wonderful church family and have even helped start a grief support group at our church. Each time someone tells me how our grief group has helped them, it’s both a blessing and bittersweet. I hate that my dad chose to end his life, and I’ll never stop missing him or wishing I could change what happened, but I’m taking it day by day and trying to use my experience to be a support for others. I’ve also learned to appreciate each day with those I love and I try to not take any second for granted. I thank God for carrying me through the roughest time in my life and now strive to walk closer with Him daily.” -Paula
“I have a deeeper understanding of suicide. Most don’t understand I knew he was going to do it and there was no stopping him. And I’ve had a few others in my life that I truly feel the same way about. It’s not that we didn’t try to help them. They just did not want it. I came to terms that no matter what I did, it wouldn’t save them. Which to many that sounds like I gave up on them. No I did not. But after so long I realized that nothing I could do would change the outcome. From all of this I have learned to stand my ground, don’t be pushed by anyone who makes me feel less than what I am, I am strong yet sometimes very weak and emotional. I take every loss of life of people I know and people I didn’t know deeply. I hurt when others hurt. I cry because I hate the pain I know they are living with. So for me, I am stronger but yet am so sensitive to other peoples losses. I love everyone in my life and have been able to forgive those that hurt me so badly. I don’t forget it. But I can move forward.” -Carrie
“I am following my forever 15 year old daughter Abby’s items on her bucket list she left the day before she died. She was sunshine and grace and beauty all around and I always strive now to be like her. She is currently helping me get through breast cancer over the last six months by being fierce-just like she was. My pain is nothing compared to what she went through with clinical depression, migraines etc. #37 Help Others in a Big Way: I just switched jobs and now fundraise for a teen/young adult suicide prevention. http://www.trumbulltimes.com/…/trumbull-mom-fights…/ #38 Live a Happy Life:
Abby’s friends and family strive for this every single day. We truly believe Abby would have wanted in that way.” -Gillian
“God definitely holds me up. This process allows me to share freely and be open with others about grief, loss, and suicide. Also, I can share my entire story and always they ask….how did you get through it. The answer is God. And…I love and live as hard as possible. Never take a day for granted.” -Amy
“I lost my 17 year old son, my only child, ten months ago. Thus far, things that may have seemed important before no longer matter. I see and feel the beauty of nature I didn’t notice fully before. Compassion, empathy and love for others is stronger, easier. Fear of dying, fear in general is nearly non-existent. Anticipation of Heaven, God’s grace and my son’s love carries me forward. A grateful heart. Forgiveness.” -Shannon
We would love to hear from YOU! Tell us how you have moved forward or put meaning to your own loss in the comments. You never know who will be lifted up by your words. Together we are stronger!
I can so relate to Carrie’s comment. As my sister said when my son took his life: “We were shocked, but not surprised!” We reached out to Tyler in every way possible but he was determined to end his pain & despair!
I was so very fortunate to have my husband for the time I did. I was a young widow.
Twenty five years later, I still love my DH. I was terrified as the year he died turned into the next year he was moving further and further from me, that I would lose his smile, his voice, his touch, his very presence.
No.
The people we love and who love us are always with us. I live rurally and look up at the night sky during these winter months when the moon shines like a million diamonds on the snow and I know that love really never does end.
It is timeless.