When I first read this quote it gave me goosebumps. I couldn’t actually decide if I loved it or hated it. After thinking about it for a little while I realized why I loved it; it explains everything I feel about suicide. When someone dies by suicide we often question if we truly knew the person we lost. Very similar to the quote comparing life to “a beautiful lie.” When the person dies in such a tragic manner, the life they lived just doesn’t seem to make sense. How could this person that we knew and loved feel that this was their only option? It is incomprehensible. Yet, maybe their life was “a beautiful lie.” A lie that they desperately wanted us to believe. The hard part is accepting “the painful truth” that accompanies their death. Acknowledging that there was more to the person than the one we knew and loved is often one of the most difficult things to accept.
I had to read this quote several times, then it clicked. Death is part of life and death is painful. Yes, I do believe, I really knew my wonderful husband. He had a beautiful heart and he was extremely smart. Depression and Anxiety is such an ugly disease that does not get the recognition it desperately requires or respect. My sweet studmuffin became ill and suffered with depression and anxiety. He tried, he fought, he begged God not to take him to the dark place, he just couldn’t hold on. The mental anguished just became too much for him. We miss him and the selfish part of me wants him right here beside me, I miss talking with him, snuggling up against him, and we made each other laugh, but I have to search some times more than others and believe and be grateful that he is no longer suffering. We love each other so much, we never wanted to see the other suffer. Because I love him so much, I am grateful he’s no longer suffering. But it doesn’t take away how much I miss him
I knew my mom but I often wonder if I ever knew the real her or if everything was one big illusion that she created for me and for the rest of my family. The lines between truth and lies became so blurred I still struggle to this day with what was real and what was fake. I often ask myself if I ever knew the real her or if I always just thought I did. Especially this time of year I feel like I’m haunted by memories even good ones are painful!
What powerful words. As painful, tragic, and overwhelming, confusing and life changing a loved one lost to suicide is, it is important to remember that what can be perceived as ” A Beautiful Lie” and speaking as one who lives with mental illness, it is not intentional or a planned deception (as in my case & history of attempts), but actually an unknown type of “reality or normal.” As in my case the “Beautiful Lie” was in truth my reality, my normal;
As I have told those closet to me I honestly had no clue that the “life” I was living was not real or true; hard to imagine I know.
My point is those we lost to suicide did live in a world very few close to them knew or understood and the
awful part is we are unable to communicate what it is like living there.
But suicide loss is much more than the loss it does not define those no longer here; I try to remember those I have lost as they were meaning their entire life good, bad, happy days, and rough ones altogether the fact I lost them to suicide is not the totality of who they were.
My two cents…
Wonderful article Jessica very thought provoking thanl you.
In Gratitude & Love,
Kimberle
Thank you to all of you who commented above. I lost my thirty-eight year old daughter to suicide July 19, 2015. You are so right that the manner of her death does not speak to the value of her entire life. To me she was beautiful and intelligent. She hated injustice of any kind to anybody. She would have stood up for the abused, especially animals. I am grateful that she no longer suffers, but I am haunted by the thought that the real injustice is that I could not save her life. She had so much more to give to the world than I do.
I lost my father on July 19, 2016. I feel the same way…still trying to wrap my head around everything. I think we are still in shock…3 months later. So many emotions to deal with. Thanks for all the comments as well…trying to learn and find comfort in other people’s words and experience.
I lost my son July 30, 2015. I am so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard and heartbreaking. Never in a million years did it cross my mind he could be at risk and when I heard my initial thought was “can’t be my son” and in a way, it wasn’t my son. He suffered from Epilepsy, you never know what exactly lurks underneath it all, it’s complicated, unbelievable, I can’t wrap my head around it either. He was such a gentle soul with a huge heart. ((hugs)) and much love to all of you.
I am sorry for your loss. I understand how it feels. My dad passed away 20 years ago from suicide.
All I can say is “Wow” and “So True”.