Remembering loved ones after death can be difficult after losing a loved one to suicide. Everybody wants to know HOW your loved one died. Our insecurities gain intensity as we fear that others are judging us, or the person that we lost. Unlike a natural death, we are constantly reminded of our loved ones’ death. Their final act can easily become their story, if we allow it to. 
While their final act is often the one that changes us the most, it does not define who we are. The lessons they taught us and the memories we made are what help define who we are today. Their presence in our lives amounted to so much more than that final act. Hold on to those memories. Hold on to the connection that you had with the person you lost. They may be gone from our physical presence, but their spirit lives on in the memories we created together.
I have a journal “My Mermories of Katie”, my daughter. I write like I’m talking to her. For instead, remember Katie when we were in San Fransisco., I write some special stories of what we did. & then I put a picture of her in the book from that trip. On her birthday I wrote what we did to celebrate her & tell her how I feel about her. Sometimes it’s painful remembering the beautiful memories I had with her. But I also think it’s helping me through my grieving journey. It helps me to keep her Mermories alive!!!
I love this! What a great way to honor your daughter’s memory. Thank you for sharing!
I would like to share this on my Stevee B & the ske gulls facebook page if that is ok…
Yes, you can share our posts on your page, just as long as you either include the link or cite the source:) We love being shared!
I talk to my son all the time, have a large photo of him in my lounge. Feels perfectly natural, I tell him all the family news, or when I am going out to see one of his brothers and their kids, tell him what we are going to be doing. Say goodnight to him at night, and hello in the morning, but there probably are some times I forget! – feel like I have a connection with him.
Thanks for that reminder. <3
“Unlike a natural death, we are constantly reminded of our loved ones’ death. ”
Time to change the view. Suicide is not an unnatural death for humans. It’s like saying “dying of a heart attack is a natural death” which it technically isn’t. Animals don’t get heart attacks. So if heart attacks are viewed natural, why aren’t suicides? Both are rather human ways to go.
I yet have to meet a survivor who didn’t come to the painful realization that their loved one was ill. Huge problem if we don’t spot them early enough, which is really hard as we have a hard time telling what is what. We are still missing many of the bipolar patients, have a hard time telling the difference between bipolar and schizophrenia and clinical depression with hallucinations. What is what? Why? We just don’t know. We still miss a lot of the epileptics too. (you don’t have to have very obvious seizures do have epilepsy) Researchers have found out that the suicide rate for epileptics is higher than in the general population, but interestingly, they also found out many suicide attempters later developed epilepsy…so what is there first? The epilepsy, the suicide attempt, the depression? Is this all moving along the same spectrum and the most severe cases die by suicide?
Interesting. I hope we can solve the puzzle soon and in the meantime we do our best to educate about mental health issues to get people to the doctor.