This week, we welcome guest blogger Katherine Sargent to our site. Katherine talks about the many innuendos in society that cause a great deal of pain for survivors of a suicide loss. I know that I personally cringe when I see and hear them used in a joking matter. Thank you Katherine for speaking up, and helping educate society on what is and what isn’t ok.
This blog title is very deep and may even elicit a response like, “Why would someone joke about suicide?”. I want you to take a minute, think, scroll your news feed on social media and let me know if you see any suicidal statements on posts. Still nothing coming to mind? Ever seen this emoji combination “😁 🔫” or heard anyone say “I just wanted to string it up”? Those are some brief examples. I really do not want to entertain this by providing others. During the holidays, I overheard a conversation where someone was irritated of having to spend time with their in-laws. Following were a multitude of graphic suicidal statements to emphasize frustration regarding the situation. I also see that very emoji combination come across my Facebook daily to emphasize aggravation or irritation. I may not have been so sensitive to it in the past, but last May, I lost someone very dear to me to suicide and before that spent 3 years working at a crisis hotline with the goal to save people’s lives that are contemplating suicide. These statements may be made in passing, as a joke or to add significance to a situation, but the reality is suicide is not a joke.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention completed a study for 2015 indicating that 117 people die from suicide every day. Also, for every completion, there are 25 attempts. Pause for a moment and think about how many people each day feel that death is the only option in their life. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention also reports statistics that almost 50% of those suicides are completed with a firearm. Does that create pause when you see that emoji?
These statistics indicate that there is a very high chance that multiple people around you every day have been impacted by suicide. So, why don’t you know about it? Unfortunately, mental health and suicide are topics that people do not like to talk about. There seems to be a fear that if we talk about it then maybe we will “catch it”. The reality is, without talking about it, it may happen in your life. Individuals and families can not and will not be saved by staying quiet. Joking about it does not solve problems, if anything, it takes away for the severity of the problem. Cancer is not funny, neither are terrorist attacks, terminal illnesses or accidental deaths. These are things that society acknowledges as serious, so then why is death because of mental illness different? Those 117 families that receive those phone calls, find their family members or have the police waiting for them at work will tell you that it is not a joke.
Please think about others around you next time you post on social media or make jokes. Remember, you never know who can hear you or see what your posting.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) or www.suicidepreventionlife.org. Suicidal threats and invitations to talk about suicide should always be taken seriously.
Katherine E. Sargent, MS, LMHC, NCC is a Mental Health Counselor in Rochester, NY that owns a private practice that works mainly with teenagers and adults through individual, couples and group therapy. She specializes in grief and loss, treatment of anxiety and depression, as well as relational issues. Looking to find out more about Katherine? Please visit www.rochestermentalhealth.com or find her on twitter at katscounseling.
Oh so true!! Thank you so much for posting!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for addressing this subject! Those who have not been touched by suicide have no idea how much a thoughtless statement such as “I’d rather kill myself than do that” can hurt a survivor of suicide. I am sick of people whispering about it. Tired of folks acting like my son did not exist, rather than address the subject. Since his death, I have tried to educate myself and others. Yes, it was a tragedy. It was the most horrible thing, by far, that has ever happened to me. But what would be more terrible is for me to remain silent. I stand with you. Thank you again.
I know many of these political radio hosts TV host continue to use the suicide word just thinks it is funny. I have turned off a lot of the radio programs is they have no clue what the word suicide actually means. People that have not been affected by suicide have no clue what it does to us to have thank you for sharing this I will continue to share any posts from you in to the public!!
It is difficult to grasp the depths that one plunges into grief ; only those left behind understand it. Unless you are forced to walk in our shoes; there are no adequate words that can describe our pain.
And I simply don’t give anyone the power to offend me. I can’t change people around me, but I can change my reaction to it.