I came across a great article, 7 Mental Health Resolutions for 2015, in Time Magazine that highlights the importance of caring for our mental health. When I sat and thought about it, I couldn’t think of a single person who had set a New Years resolution pertaining to their mental health. Or maybe people do, and just don’t talk about it out of fear of judgement. We focus so much time and attention on our outer self, why not our inner? In my experience, it doesn’t matter what I look like on the outside if my inside is filled with hopelessness, sadness, or pain. Take a minute to read through each resolution, and think about whether this is a good personal goal to set for yourself. I read through and noticed that each creates a strong sense of self-awareness. They help you get in touch with your inner self, and the emotions lingering under the surface. Most importantly, I believe that they help you heal.
1. Pay attention to emotional pain. Psychological pain is much like physical pain—if something hurts for more than a few days, you need to do something about it. If you experience rejection, failure, or have a bad mood that lingers too long, don’t ignore it.
2. Take action when you feel lonely. Chronic loneliness is devastating to your emotional and physical health because it increases your chances of an early death by 14%. Therefore, when you feel lonely, actions like reaching out to family members, connecting with friends or joining a dating website can help. Make a list of people who you’ve been close to in the past (use your phone book, social media friends, and email contacts) and reach out to one of them each day to chat or to make plans. It will feel scary and risky to take those kinds of steps, but that’s what you need to do to break the cycle of disconnection and end your emotional isolation.
3. Stop your emotional bleeding. Psychological wounds tend to create vicious cycles that get worse with time. Failure can lead to feelings of helplessness that in turn can make you more likely to fail again in the future. To break the negative cycle of failure, find ways to gain control of the situation. Our minds are not as reliable as we tend to think, so ignore misleading feelings from your gut that tell you to give up, and focus on the aspects within your control, such as your preparation, planning, effort and execution.
5. Revive your self-worth after a rejection. It’s very common to be self-critical after you get rejected. It’s an unfortunate reaction, since that’s when your self-esteem is already hurting. You’re most likely to call yourself names, list all your faults and shortcomings and generally kick yourself when you’re already down. The most important thing you can do after getting rejected is to treat yourself with the same compassion you would treat a good friend. Make sure your inner voice is kind, understanding and supportive.
6. Battle negative thinking. When something upsetting happens, it’s natural to brood over it. But replaying the scene over and over in your mind will not give you much insight or closure. The best way to break a brooding cycle is to distract yourself with a task that requires concentration, like a game on your cell phone, a quick run or a crossword puzzle.
7. Be informed on the impact of common psychological wounds and how to treat them. You know how to treat a cut or a cold, so you should also know how to treat rejection, failure, loneliness, guilt and other common emotional wounds. By becoming mindful about your psychological health and adopting habits of good emotional hygiene, you will not only heal your psychological injuries when you sustain them, but you will elevate your entire quality of life. @acsifferlin.
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Thanks Jessica! This is just what I needed to give me some direction. It has been just under 2 yrs since my father’s death by suicide and I have been feeling myself sinking lower and lower. I know it is up to me to learn how to cope and live with this…it is too draining to continue on as I have been. I realize that as survivors we need to give ourselves time to heal, but I want to feel happy again. It is kind of funny…just as my dad masked his pain, I feel I am doing the same with my grief. I can put on a good face, but in quiet moments I struggle. Hopefully this year I can start by become healthier mentally!
I am happy this post was helpful for you! Strange how we can often carry on with the mask that our loved ones once had. I think 2015 is the perfect year for you to focus on you. I have found that it is not necessarily about getting over the loss of our loved one; but finding a way to incorporate the loss into our story, so it no longer defines who we are. Don’t be too hard on yourself! I think we often become critical when we feel sad, lonely or depressed. These emotions are a part of life and should be felt so we can have a better tomorrow. Happy New Year:)