Hypnotherapy after a Suicide

In my ongoing quest to seek comfort and support in the wake of losing my dad to suicide, I have continued to explore various forms of “alternative” therapies. My latest experiment was with hypnotherapy. Living in Chicago, I am always amused by the variety of resources available to people. There’s literally something for everyone and I recently discovered a hypnotherapist across the street from work. Granted, I initially explored this idea for another reason (dealing with sleep disruptions caused by city noise), but the topic of suicide found its way into the conversation. When people think of hypnosis, the image of a hypnotist waving a pocket watch in front of a sleepy patient comes to mind. While I didn’t really know what to expect from my first session, this visual couldn’t have been further from reality.

My session was broken up into four parts and, by the end of the hour, I felt like I walked away with new coping mechanisms for dealing with sleep and also my survivor-induced anxiety. Hypnotherapy after a suicide may not be the answer for everyone, but I’ll tell you a bit about what I experienced so that you can decide for yourself.

First, we spent a while talking about things that bother me, like the noise of a city bus passing by my bedroom window at 4:30 a.m., or my elevated anxiety about experiencing more unexpected losses or traumas. From there, the hypnotherapist led me through three different exercises that can be done anywhere when these feelings start to arise.

Meditation

We began with meditation. There are many studies that point to the variety of physical and mental benefits of a regular meditation practice.

The idea is to find 5-20 minutes per day to escape from autopilot to breathe and clear your mind. This can be done in a multitude of ways, from sitting to lying down and from silently chanting a mantra in your mind to simply picturing clouds and not letting other thoughts in… I have found it really difficult to find a spare minute in my day to be idle. However, a few times per year, I have participated in free, 21-day meditation challenges led by Oprah and Deepak Chopra. They guide you through a daily, themed mantra, explain its benefits and provide lovely music to soothe you. Their latest challenge was on happiness. I find these challenges to be very nice for beginners. I wish I could make more time for this in my day so it could become more of a regular thing. The hypnotherapist explained that a regular practice would contribute to an overall lower level of these anxieties I experience.

The Quick Flip

Next, we talked about a trick called the “quick flip.” With this exercise, you nip anxious or depressing thoughts in the bud by replacing them with positive ones. For example, if worrying about a flight delay, you would immediately start repeating, “safe and on time” in your head to try and quiet the other noise. Or, if worrying about the advanced age of a beloved pet, you might repeat, “many more years.” It’s a bit like following the notions of the book “The Secret.” The power of our thoughts can become reality, or at least push us in a more positive direction. It’s also like the power of prayer to those who have a faith. None of these exercises are meant to go against any religious practices or beliefs. They can actually complement them.

Self Hypnosis

Lastly, we talked about doing self-hypnosis, which can take about 90 seconds. Essentially, you start by closing your eyes and picturing your favorite beach. You listen for the sounds of the waves coming in and out and begin to time your breathing to them. Each slow in/out of a wave would be one breath in and out. Depending on what is bothering you at the moment, you would then say to yourself, “by the time I count from 8 to 1, I will be “safe, calm and _____.” The three things you say to yourself could vary based on what is bothering you. When I am awakened by the city bus, I usually say, “safe, calm and able to fall back asleep.” Or, if I am worrying about a trauma that hasn’t even happened, I might say, “safe, calm and protected.” When you’ve reached 1 and have said these words, you then count quickly up from 1 to 8. You can repeat this for as many times as you need. In the early morning hours, I am usually able to fall right back to sleep after doing this a couple of times.

Of course, I realize this is a lot to take in just by reading about it. Actually going through the session and practicing these exercises with the expert helped make the point of the work a little more clear and easy to digest for me. As survivors of suicide, I think we are very susceptible to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I personally think that seeking the ongoing help of a licensed clinician/therapist has been the most helpful resource in my healing. But, things like these hypnosis tools give me some additional tricks to leverage during any anxiety-induced flare ups between those appointments. I could see this being particularly helpful for anyone who happened to find their loved one and would like some assistance with clearing their mind of that. As I mentioned, I haven’t necessarily been the model student in terms of adapting all of these practices into my daily life, though I do find them to be a beneficial supplement when I am able to squeeze them in.

Have you found any forms of alternative therapies helpful in your healing?