April is always one of the bigger months for me in terms of grieving the loss of my father. The month starts with his birthday, which is followed shortly by Opening Day for Major League Baseball and then Easter. All of these dates remind me so much of him and the traditions he loved to follow. He especially enjoyed celebrating birthdays, including his own. On the morning of his birthday, he used to stop by a local bakery to pick up treats to bring into the office – usually chocolate éclairs. I think this is one of the things people remember most about him. He was all about the sweets and was guaranteed to indulge in anything sugary that crossed his path. That night, we’d usually gather for a family dinner and top it off with some other treat of his choosing. Birthdays were always such a happy time in our household, largely because he orchestrated such memorable “parties.” This year, I stopped to grab donuts to share with my co-workers in his memory.
As an avid Milwaukee Brewers fan and former season-ticket holder, it’s hard not to think of my dad when the team starts playing again on their home field. I remember going to games with him as a young child. Not surprisingly, he let me enjoy several of my favorite stadium goodies – like a huge frosted sugar cookie, a malt cup or licorice. I think he viewed County Stadium and Miller Park as a second home. And, there were few stats about players he didn’t know. In fact, the last communication I had with my dad before he died was via e-mail about some tickets I was hoping to use from his batch from the 2011 season. I think he said he was going to check to see which ones he still had available… He was always very generous with his tickets – something my husband really appreciated, too. I’m actually heading to a game tomorrow for the first time perhaps since he died. I’m really bummed because a friend was able to get us seats directly behind the opposing team (Yankees) dugout. Back when Milwaukee hosted the All Star game, I happened to be at an event with Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez and called him from the bathroom to tell him I just had my picture taken while standing between the two of them. He couldn’t believe it. So, for me not to be able to tell him about this game is disappointing.
Of course, Easter is a heavy day, as well. In addition to fond memories of going to church together and going on detailed hunts for the baskets he hid for us, the day is a reminder that life does not end with death. It’s a very bittersweet day.
Lastly, my family rounded out the month by attending the 35th annual Blossoms of Hope Brunch, hosted by the LOSS organization. I like the coincidence of it taking place in April. This is a wonderful fundraising event for the LOSS program in Chicago, which draws 1,000 attendees each year. I was glad that Lindsay and her brother Tommy were there to honor their dad, as well. (The picture above is of us at the event hall.) At the event, attendees – all affected by the loss of a loved one to suicide – gather to enjoy an enormous spread of delicious food, partake in a silent auction and listen to Father Rubey (the LOSS founder) share warm words about the program and its participants. Lindsay and I served on the brunch planning committee this year, helping to gather wine for the auction. Though it sounds like it would be a really sad experience, it really couldn’t be more positive, inviting and beautiful.
I’m happy to have April behind me but do like that it brings an extended timeframe to relive and relish in these memories of my dad.
