The other day, I heard a survivor say their loved one “died from a loss of hope.” This is such a simple, beautifully-articulated statement. How have I not used this myself before?
When explaining how someone died by suicide, most people fixate on the “did he or she commit or complete suicide” argument. Yes, that is certainly a very straightforward and factual way to put it. But, it feels rather cold, like the manner in which they died. I’m finding more and more that I personally like the way some of the softer phrases come across. I think my dad did die from a loss of hope. Hope that whatever troubles were on his mind would find a resolution. Hope that the weight of his depression would ever be lifted off his shoulders. Hope that he wouldn’t be judged for coming forward for help. None of these “hopes” seemed possible anymore. Or, he lost the drive to trust in them and find ways to bring them to fruition.
I think hope is one of the primary drivers that keep us going. Life can be rather stressful and burdensome, even to those who are not facing depression. I hope I can find the right balance between my personal and professional life. I hope I have made the right choices financially to be able to retire at a reasonable age. I hope I make it home safely every night. The “hopes” I mention feel like more of an everyday kind, but they motivate me to proceed. It’s the trust that there’s something better at the end of the tunnel – whether that be the tunnel I’m driving through to get home on a Tuesday, or the longer tunnel of life. When I think about the “hopes” of someone contemplating suicide and the struggle to see how they could ever be seen through, it makes sense.
Once someone has lost that hope, I don’t know how they get it back, but I want to believe there’s a way. I think that counseling and reaching out for help is a step. I’ve also read debates about what role faith and religion play in a decision to complete suicide. Religion is fueled by hope and the thought is a spiritually-driven person would know “better” than to give up. I’m not entirely sure. My dad was the president of the church council and attended services every week. He prayed and read the bible and recorded sermons he heard on the radio. Maybe he hoped to reach the better place he knew so well and therefore didn’t lose hope at all? I don’t know.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you think there’s a correlation between suicide and hope?
I believe that there is a correlation between suicide and a loss of hope. Jesus Christ restored my hope because God is real and alive. I was a Christian but going through hard things at 17 was focusing on the wrong things all the hard things and the problems, was told by someone that I loved that I was a failure that I would never amount to anything, that I was worthless, and other things and I believed it for a while. I experienced a little emotional abuse, very slight physical got pushed around a little bit. Went through undiagonsed depression. Though I went to church on Sunday I wasn’t sure of what God thought of me because of this person in my life being as important as that person was, I thought maybe God thought the same thing as that person thought of me but it wasn’t true. God does not think that of people, but “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. I had begun to loose hope, got fixed on the wrong things, believed in God the right God, but I had a bit of a wrong concept of what He thought of me, not realizing how great He is how great His love really is for me. God saved me from suicide, long story short, He is working in me restoring a right concept of who He really is, His character His heart, what HE says of those who believe in Him, and I am finding my new identity fully based in Jesus Christ, as a child of God, learning to reject the lies and holding on the truth, and the hope that is based in the Word of God. Praying for you. Thanks for this <3 Much love to you. God loves you. The Bible says that God is love. In Jesus Christ there is hope. In Jesus Christ there is help. In Jesus Christ is life, everlasting life, and life abundantly. Jesus Christ is an ever present help in times of need. Jesus Christ is the Shelter from the storms. Jesus Christ gives purpose to our lives, we are here for a reason to live for His glory, to have a relationship with God, to grow even through trials to learn to be strong in God. God gave us life as a gift as a blessing, and who are we to take that life, when HE has given us such a precious gift for good for joy, for blessing and blessing may come through hard things, but God promised He would be with us through it all that He would never leave us nor forsake us.. Hold on to God' promises and the truth of God's Word in Jesus Christ, the risen living Savior.
I have been suffering with depression for years now. Recently I have noticed a change. The depression has gotten worse, I know it is because I have lost hope. Until recently (as in a few days ago) I had some hope that my situation would change somehow, and that I could get better. Now that hope is gone. One day is the same as the day before it. I know I am in a dangerous place emotionally with the loss of hope. I can feel it. Like all my hopes and dreams just somehow vanished. It may sound strange but I can literally feel the weight of it, like I’m walking through molasses. It scares me. How does one get hope back when it just vanished overnight?
Having a loss of hope is definitely not a good place to be. Are you working with a professional? I highly recommend finding a good therapist and psychiatrist. It can be hard reaching out for help. Remind yourself that this is no different than a medical condition. If you had high blood pressure you wouldn’t try and treat it on your own; you would ask a doctor for help. Depression is the same. Do not try and fight it on your own. Depression is a brain disease. The neurotransmitters aren’t always working like they should, which leads to the loss of hope you are referring to. It can be fixed, and can get better….but, you can’t do it on your own.
Thank you for responding! I am seeing a doctor and have been placed on antidepressants. I can’t say much for the antidepressants but talking with my doctor/therapist definitely I think helps. I feel like she understands what I am saying to her and leave the office feeling like there could be hope after all. That feeling wears off the next day but I remind myself that at least I was capable of feeling hope the day before. I must say it is rather terrifying to feel hopeless and helpless. She (my therapist) gives me good advice on how to combat those feelings, but it is up to me to remember to put those techniques into practice. I used to actually be happy. I just want to be happy again. Thanks again!
You will be happy again, but you are right….it is up to you to put those techniques into practice. Not always easy though! We hope that our site can continue to offer you hope!